


Just Say You Won't Let Go

by rosezlvr



Category: Uncharted (Video Games)
Genre: Eventual Happy Ending, M/M, Sibling Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-03-25
Packaged: 2018-10-07 16:36:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10364829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosezlvr/pseuds/rosezlvr
Summary: Based off of James Arthur's "Say You Won't Let Go"Having grown up with only each other and having spent fifteen years apart, two brothers hide their feelings for each other while they search for Henry Avery's legendary pirate treasure.





	1. Chapter 1

_I met you in the dark, you lit me up_  
_You made me feel as though I was enough_  
_We danced the night away, we drank too much_  
_I held your hair back when you were throwing up_  
_Then you smiled over your shoulder_  
_For a minute, I was stone-cold sober_  
_I pulled you closer to my chest_  
_And you asked me to stay over_  
_I said, I already told ya_  
_I think that you should get some rest_  
_I knew I loved you then_  
_But you'd never know_  
_'Cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go_  
_I know I needed you_  
_But I never showed_  
_But I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old_  
_Just say you won't let go_  
_Just say you won't let go_

 

Sam is five years old when he first holds his newborn baby brother Nathan on an early, dark and rainy December morning. As Sam sits on a plastic chair in the hospital room with his legs crossed, he stares at the bundle in his arms that had melted his heart the moment he was placed in his arms. He’s awestruck as Nathan weakly opens his vibrant blue eyes, and stares right into Sam’s. A small smile creeps onto the baby’s face, and it’s in that moment, for the first time in his life, that Sam feels that he means something to someone. Even if they were a few minutes old.

  
For the next five years, Sam’s life seems much more bearable. Life seems worth it when he’s there to see Nathan’s first steps, his first words. He’s there to teach Nathan right from wrong, and he’s there to protect him from danger, even if sometimes that danger is in their own home. It’s Nathan who finds their mother. Sam can hardly contain himself as he tries to explain to him that their mother won’t be coming back. Death wasn’t something that Sam thought he would have to teach Nathan at such a young age.

  
Life takes another punch at Sam when their father, their only remaining family that they knew of, deserts them days after having buried their mother six feet in the ground. Surrendered them to someone else because he ‘couldn’t take care of them anymore’, which Sam knew was a load of bullshit. As their father drives away and doesn’t look back, it’s right then and there that Sam decides that he and Nathan only have each other. Years pass, and at age eighteen, Sam and his thirteen-year-old brother run away from the police and the only place they’ve ever known and change their names to Drake. After finding their mother’s journal about Henry Avery’s treasure, they promised to finish what she started. Sam convinces himself it’s what she would’ve wanted.

  
Nathan’s twenty-first birthday is when Sam realizes it. It’s when they’re both drunk and dancing wildly in their tiny and shabby apartment they can barely afford at four in the morning. Excited that Nathan had finally become old enough to drink, Sam had gone a little overboard and nearly bought the entire liquor store. Nathan, of course, being new to drinking, didn’t know his limit and drank as much as he could before he was sick. Sam is laughing drunkenly to himself and rubbing his hand over Nathan’s back as he heaves into the porcelain. Hiccupping, Nathan turns and smiles over his shoulder at Sam, and although he looks terrible, the look on his face turns Sam stone cold sober. It’s a look full of so much admiration and love that it reminds Sam of when Nathan first smiled at him during his first few minutes of being brought into the world. Once again, it completely melts his heart. Nathan giggles, and leans his face into Sam’s neck, inhaling deeply.

  
“Will you stay over?” He whispers, and Sam shivers as his breath ghosts across his neck.

  
“I already told you,” Sam says, wrapping an arm around Nathan’s shoulder, pulling him to his chest as he rests his chin on the top of his head. “I think that you should get some rest.”

  
Sam watches Nathan’s even breathing from across the room on the bed. His eyes move across his body, across his face. He feels something warm bloom in his chest as he watches his little brother sleep, a warm, tight feeling that isn’t unfamiliar to him. He exhales shakily – he can’t let Nathan know. He can’t let something so trivial get in the way of what they have now. He can continue to play it cool- he’s been doing it for years already. He’s too scared to let go.

  
Sam is twenty-eight and Nathan is twenty-three when they argue over Panama. Nathan says it’s too dangerous – Sam says it’s the only chance they have. Sam becomes more and more agitated the longer Nathan continues to argue with him. Sam can’t seem to figure out why he is so against the idea of getting into the Panamanian prison that just so happened to hold one of Henry Avery’s former ship mates, Jonathan Burnes. It’s the biggest lead they’ve ever had when it came to finding Avery’s treasure.

  
“Nathan, stop pacing,” Sam said tiredly as Nathan ignored him. “Please don’t be this way.”

  
Nathan finally stopped pacing, only to stare at Sam in disbelief. “Don’t be what way? Sam, there’s gotta be another way. We can’t risk something happening.”

  
“Something like what happen?” Sam seethed, pulling out a cigarette from his back pocket and lighting it up. He took a puff, and grit his teeth. He was trying to stop smoking, but this arguing wasn’t helping. “There is no other way Nathan. Think of what Mom would want.”

  
At the mention of their mother, Nathan screwed his eyes shut. Sam knew he had hit a nerve, but he needed to get through to his brother about the one thing that they had sacrificed so much for. After an agonizingly long minute, Nathan opened his eyes and ran a hand through his hair.

  
“Mom would want us to be safe.”

  
Sam paused. He didn’t know how to feel, or what to do about their current situation. He pulled the cigarette from between his lips and smashed it into the carpet with the toe of his shoe, hands itching for another. He heard Nathan cross the room, and felt a hand on his arm.

  
“Sam…” Nathan’s voice sounded small and somewhat tight, like he was trying to stop himself from crying. “I need you and you need me. If we do this, if something were to happen, I don’t…” His voice became weak and trailed off. Sam looked at him, at his blue eyes that reminded himself so much of their mother, and bit his lip. He wanted to embrace him and never let go, but he restrained himself from doing so. Nathan still couldn’t know. He couldn’t ever know.

  
“I’m sorry Nathan.”

  
One month later, in the hot and humid month of June, Sam and Nathan follow Rafe Adler through the chaotic and dangerous Panamanian prison walls after a deadly confrontation in the warden’s office. Rafe, who is rich, arrogant and an overall hot head, unashamedly kills the warden of the prison as he fires a shot, alerting the guards and causing an immediate lockdown. As Sam runs and constantly checks behind him to make sure his brother stays right on his tail, his heart and gut both clench at the same time. Now that they’ve got the clue they need, the next step to finish their mother’s work in Scotland, Sam should be feeling relieved. However, Nathan’s words from the month before echo through his mind as they jump from building to building, scaling walls and dodging bullets.

  
_I need you and you need me. If something were to happen…_

  
Time seems to stand still as Sam glances across the rooftop towards Nathan’s waiting hand. From where Sam sits, every so often flinching from the bullets whizzing past him, his little brother looks so small. So scared.

  
“I’ll catch you!” Nathan calls out to him, and angles his hand more towards him. Not wanting to waste anymore time, Sam leaps across with as much strength he has left after running for so long, and grabs ahold of Nathan’s hand.

  
Nathan pulls him up, but before Sam can lift one leg up to climb the rest of the way over, three shots fire, and three pinches of pain erupt across his back, each one spreading fast. Blood comes up and over his chin as he stares at Nathan’s face. His little brother’s young and beautiful face, his firm lips which he never had the chance to kiss. His bright blue eyes that Sam has loved ever since he Nathan was born. Vision getting hazy and strength fading, Sam almost falls off the ledge completely if it weren’t for Nathan holding his hand.

  
“Give me your other arm! C’mon reach!” Nathan begs, and Sam and can hear his voice starting to become farther and farther away. He’s losing to the darkness, and his grip slips from Nathan’s hand. He can hear Nathan scream his name as he falls, and as he falls he’s recalling all of the memories together.

  
Nathan’s first word being Sam’s name. Nathan toddling over to him when he was one year old. Teaching him how to ride a bike. Both of them huddled over a book in the library researching Avery’s treasure. Sam realizing that his love for Nathan what stronger than what he originally thought it was. Growing old together.

  
Now that last one, Sam thinks, is what I really wanted. He smiles. Just say you won’t let go, Nathan.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to make a note that I didn't write about the part in the song where it goes 'I'll take the kids to school, wave them goodbye' because it wouldn't make any sense for the story. Anyways, please enjoy!

_I'll wake you up with some breakfast in bed_  
_I'll bring you coffee with a kiss on your head_  
_And I'll take the kids to school_  
_Wave them goodbye_  
_And I'll thank my lucky stars for that night_  
_When you looked over your shoulder_  
_For a minute, I forget that I'm older_  
_I wanna dance with you right now_  
_Oh, and you look as beautiful as ever_  
_And I swear that everyday you'll get better_  
_You make me feel this way somehow_  
_I'm so in love with you_  
_And I hope you know_  
_Darling your love is more than worth its weight in gold_  
_We've come so far my dear_  
_Look how we've grown_  
_And I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old_  
_Just say you won't let go_  
_Just say you won't let go_

 

Nathan looks exactly the same as Sam remembers him, with his heart shaped face and blue eyes which flutter closed as Sam drags his lips across his brother’s forehead. The smell of coffee is carried away by the breeze that goes through the room filled with the glow of the rising sun, and as Sam stares at the steam rising from the mug he had brought in earlier for Nathan, the line between the dream and reality becomes fragile and blurry.

At age forty-one, thirteen years have passed since Sam has last seen his brother. Even with them apart, the sun rises and sets every day. As days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and months turned into years, the love that Sam harbored for his brother only weakened him as he fought back and forth with himself on whether or not he should have told him. With Nathan believing him to have been dead and gone years ago, Sam will never have the chance to let those three words fall past his lips.

It’s a windy day in September when Sam steps foot out past the prison gate, the gravel crunching beneath his feet as the door slams behind him. Although initially skeptical about the trek towards his so called ‘freedom’, he can’t help but let a faint smile grace his face as the wind plays with the locks of hair that drape over the collar of his shirt.

The faint smile doesn’t last long when Sam realizes that Rafe Adler stands there proudly with that same look on his face that screams ‘I’m rich so I’m better than you’. The hand that he claps on Sam’s shoulder makes him almost choke out a sob, but he’s being ushered into the back of Rafe’s luxurious vehicle and he watches as the prison becomes smaller and smaller the farther they drive away.

Rafe lets out an exaggerated sigh when Sam asks about his brother.

Ignoring his question, Rafe simply tells Sam where they’re going, what they’re doing, and if he doesn’t help him, then it wouldn’t take _that_ much money to send him back to prison than it did to get him out. He might even be able to get a refund.

When Sam is forty-three, fifteen years have passed since he has seen Nathan. He feels neither remorse nor guilt as he slowly bides his time and takes everything right out from underneath Rafe, including a photocopy of the second St. Dismas cross, the only remaining clue left to discover Avery’s treasure.

It’s warm and muggy in the month of April when Sam finally arrives in Louisiana, but he can’t help the chill that runs down his back as he pulls his jean jacket tighter around him. He anxiously rubs a hand over his face, frowning when his fingers trace over the gray stubble adorning his chin and the fine lines that weren’t there fifteen years ago.

The time is exactly 5:04 AM when he knocks on the door separating him from the only person who kept him going for all this time. He thanks his lucky stars, even though life hasn’t been so kind to him in these past years.

When Sam hears the chair being pushed back and footsteps coming towards the door after knocking multiple times to get Nathan’s attention, he almost bolts.

At first, the thought of seeing his brother after fifteen years made him think of nothing else but Nathan, hugging him, telling him that he’s loved him for all this time. But now that he’s here, now that Nathan’s less than ten feet away from him, he can’t do it. He can’t do this, suddenly come back from and dead and declare his love for Nathan after being apart for so long. He can’t keep hoping for something that isn’t going to happen.

All of those thoughts fly out the window as soon as Nathan appears in front of him, knocking the wind out of his chest and forcing a blush to rise up to his cheeks. Sam is unprepared for the surge of emotions that runs through his entire body at the sound of Nathan’s voice that weakly calls his name, and he’s unsure of the words that fall out his mouth in the next few moments. Before he knows it, Nathan’s arms are around his neck and he’s embracing him tightly as he calls Sam’s name again.

When Sam’s name graces Nathan’s lips, Sam sucks in a breath through his teeth and forces out an awkward chuckle, when in reality he’s so taken aback by his brother’s strong arms embracing him, his scratchy cheeks that are pressed against his…just Nathan’s overall _being._

The sky is beginning to grow bright with the rising of the sun as they sit and stare out over the crystal water. Sam smiles as Nathan begins retelling the tales of his adventures in great detail - finding El Dorado, Shambhala, a lost city in the middle of the Rub ‘Al Kahli Desert…Sam’s missed so much. Missed _him_ so much.

“…I wish you could’ve been there, Sam,” Nathan says gently, and for the third time in Sam’s life, Nathan turns and looks at him over his shoulder with the same look that never fails to melt his heart. He just looks so happy to have Sam there with him, and in that moment Sam forgets that he’s older. The only thing he wants to do right now is dance. He wants to dance with him right now, take him in his arms right here outside on the pier overlooking the water and the sky.

Of course, Sam doesn’t do that.

Instead, his mind blanks when Nathan tells him about Elena. His wife.

Although being apart for so long, Sam can guarantee that he knows Nathan better than anyone. Knows that at a young age, he had always had a big heart for someone so small. So it doesn’t really phase him when Nathan refuses to help him with the second St. Dismas cross – because he promised Elena that he was done. Done with the life that Sam hadn’t been able to be a part of.

He hates himself for this. He hates the thought that passes through his mind, the lie that he conjures up and he grimaces when it spills from his mouth. He hates that Nathan believes him. But why wouldn’t he?

He doesn’t know how to feel when Nathan lies to Elena, though.

It’s the first week of May when they arrive in Italy, and Sam feels flustered and nervous as he, Nathan and Sullivan weave their way into the Rossi Estate, all of them dolled up in suits and bow ties. Sam finds himself glaring at both the men and women who watch his brother walk through the high-class auction.

When all three of them sit together and ponder over Avery’s next clue from the cross Sam had successfully stolen from the auction, as well as from Rafe, Sam’s drink in his glass suddenly becomes very heavy when Nathan figures out their next destination – Scotland.

Scotland is cold even in mid May, much colder than Sam is used to, having spent the last fifteen years in Panama. However, it’s not all bad. As he and Nathan follow Avery’s clues that eventually take them to a hidden cave, Sam feels happy. He’s content that he’s here with Nathan, that he’s finally doing what he was meant to do for the past decade.

When the ground crumbles underneath their feet, the adrenaline rush is a like a whole level that Sam hasn’t felt in such a long time that it nearly brings him to his knees. He can feel the worn, red coin in his pocket that Nathan had found as they run, the bullets whizzing past them as they fight their way through Rafe’s defenses.

The ocean is icy cold as Sam surfaces with a gasp of air. Ahead, Nathan is gesturing for him to hurry up as Sullivan’s plane begins to become louder and louder. As Sam grasps his brother’s hand, he coincidentally looks up at him.

With the wind blowing the falling snow onto his cheeks and hair, Nathan’s face glows. Everything seems to slow to a standstill as Sam gathers his wits about him. His heart is beating rapidly, not from just barely escaping death, but at the fact that his brother’s face is beautiful – every day that Sam has looked at his face he just gets better. Sam is so confused on how Nathan can make him feel this way when he’s not even doing anything.

Sam brushes off the feeling of guilt as Nathan presses the worn red coin back into Sam’s hand that indicates where they’ll be going next – Madagascar.

Near the end of May, once they barely make it out of Madagascar with their lives as well as their dignities and make it towards the island, the guilt rises back up to Sam’s throat much stronger once Rafe points a gun at him, both he and Nathan covered in dirt and gunpowder. He can feel Nathan’s eyes boring into the side of his face, but he’s knows that once he meets Nathan’s eyes, he’ll fall apart.

“He spent the last two years looking for Avery’s treasure, and you know what? _He did it all with me,_ ” Rafe grins smugly, enjoying the look of confusion and utter betrayal that forms on Nathan’s face. “Sam? Care to refute?”

Sam can’t. He can’t look at his brother as he merely moves his head in his direction. Nathan’s name comes out half strangled, and he hates the feeling that bubbles up because this is his own fault.

Nathan's hands burn through the thin fabric of Sam's shirt as he shoves him away.   

When he is the target behind Rafe’s anger and his gun, Sam doesn’t think. He just acts.

Sam is in love with his own brother, and secretly, he hopes that Nathan knows. They’ve come so far, they’ve grown so much. He’s gotten to be with Nathan again after being apart for so long, and now it could be over in a blink of an eye, all because Sam was too scared to let go. He let his fear allow him to put everything that Nathan had on the line to be with him. His marriage to Elena, his friendship with Sully. All because Sam was too selfish with his own feelings to think about anything or anyone else.

Sam would give up all of the treasure in the world if it meant that he could be with Nathan, whether he was with him the way he had always wanted, or only as his brother. His love is more than worth its weight in gold, and he hopes that Nathan knows that. Knows that he’s only ever wanted what’s best for Nathan, and always will until they’re both gray and old.

The bullet burns as it grazes his shoulder and he takes a step back, but the pain is worth the fact that Nathan is safe, Nathan isn’t hurt, that –

The edges of his vision blur as the image of Nathan reaching out for him is forever burned into the back of his eyelids.

It’s almost as if their roles are reversed – Sam watches helplessly as Nathan falls to his death.

Just say you won’t let go, Nathan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to take the time to say thank you for so many positive comments! I'm so grateful *sobs*  
> Anyways, I've decided that I'm going to add one more chapter for this - the rest of the lyrics of the song were just too long. I just want to make sure Sam and Nate get a happy ending.


	3. Chapter 3

_I wanna live with you,_  
_even when we're ghosts_  
_'Cause you were always there for me when I needed you most_  
_I'm gonna love you till, my lungs give out_  
_I promise till death we part like in our vows_  
_So I wrote this song for you, now everybody knows_  
_That it's just you and me till we're grey and old_  
_Just say you won't let go_  
_Just say you won't let go_  
_Just say you won't let go_  
_Oh, just say you won't let go_

 

The bravest thing he’d ever done in his life was try to love again.

He didn’t think it’d be possible with only one person capturing his heart at such a young age. He told himself that although he couldn’t love someone else as much as he had loved him, his life and his heart needed a distraction from the pain and the memories that flooded his mind when they weren’t wanted.

_“I’m gonna marry you.”_

_A breathless chuckle. “Really?”_

_“Yeah. I wanna live with you even when we’re ghosts.”_

_“Why do we have to live with each other when we’re dead?”_

_“Cause you’re always here for me when I need you most. How does it go? I promise death will part us.”_

_A pause, and then a shaky exhale. “I promise till death we part.”_

But just because he had let him go, didn’t mean he had wanted to.

He had to admit, she was pretty – blonde hair, brown eyes, and every bit as a person whom he could see himself with. Not to mention she knew how to break him down piece by piece, until he was a crumbling mess to the point where he painfully remembered that she, the distraction, wasn’t enough.

She knew, but she stayed anyway.

To merely say he was hurt when she made the decision for both of them to stop what they were doing was an understatement. Without her, his distraction, he knew he would unwillingly fall back into the mentality that he had been trying to escape from for years.

With Sam back in his life, that mentality reared its ugly head the moment he knocked on his door. Along with it, came the guilt. It was much stronger this time as it took a new turn.

Sam had been shot, leaving Nate to wallow and drown himself in misery. The feeling of hopelessness and guilt as he watched Sam plummet to his death wore him out every day for fifteen years.

But Sam wasn’t dead – he spent the last thirteen years of his life rotting away in a prison all because of _him._ All because he had let Rafe get to his head, convince him that his brother was dead. He couldn’t even imagine how Sam must have felt, waking up alone in that god-awful prison. Waiting and waiting for his brother, the only family he had left, to come and get him out. But Nate never does, but instead decides to try to move on and replace him with someone who didn’t deserve to be treated simply as such. He absolutely _hated_ himself for it.

But he loved Sam more than he hated himself, and he told himself that although Sam would never feel the same way, it was worth the little time they had spent together looking for the treasure.

Even when it was revealed that Sam had been out for two years and had started searching for Avery’s treasure without him, but with Rafe, he felt numb. Somehow, he knew that Sam would convey his feelings of Nate’s betrayal eventually. He just wasn’t prepared for how much it was going to hurt.

At first, Sam seems convinced that the treasure isn’t worth risking their lives over, that they don’t have anything to prove, once the brothers are together again. However, it doesn’t last long.

Nate almost rips his hair out at the thought that Sam actually cares about the treasure more than he ever did about him as Sam disappears towards the path that will lead him towards the treasure, leaving his brother behind.

Now, with her leaving, after saving him yet again not even twenty-four hours prior, he honestly doesn’t know if he can take anymore.

“Elena, I need you.”

She turns back to him, a smile small forming on her lips. “I thought we both agreed that you wouldn’t lie to yourself anymore, Nate. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is the right thing to do. I know you’re hurting, and I am too, but we both know what needs to be done.”

She was right, like she normally was; he’s surprised when he sees the tears running down her face as she gestures for him to leave. To save Sam.

The massive ship is beyond anything he could’ve imagined as he stands on the dock that overlooks the water. The legend that he and Sam had been chasing for years, had lost and gone through so much for, was right here. But would their mother be proud of what they’ve done to get here?

Nate decides that no, the piles and piles of gold and jewels littering the floor of the burning ship as he climbs inside are not worth almost risking their lives over.

The numb feeling returns as Rafe shoves the sharp blade of the sword towards his face, angry at Nate, at Sam, who is currently pinned under a wooden beam, and angry at the fact that Nadine has locked all three of them inside the burning ship to die.

For a fleeting moment, he can see his face on the reflection of the sword as Rafe swings it towards him. His face, sweaty and encrusted with dried blood, is so unrecognizable to him now.

He can see Sam barely breathing, but he can’t feel anything as the sword rips through his abdomen. Blood drips from the broken skin and trickles down his pants, but Nate does nothing to stop it.

The sword is sharp and dangerously close to his throat as Rafe looms over him. Then suddenly, Rafe is gone. Dead. Buried beneath the treasure he had risked everything for. He’s earned it.

The beam is too heavy. His knuckles, bruised and bloody, scream in protest as he struggles to lift the beam that pins his brother to the floor. Smoke enters his lungs as he breathes heavily, and his face feels hot, either from the fire spreading quickly or the fact that he’s about to lose Sam all over again.

Sam’s hand is oddly cold against his shoulder as he pushes him away. “You gotta go!”

Stumbling back, hot tears streak down his face. The fire burns the wood of the ship faster, it’s becoming harder to see and harder to breathe. Nate’s heart is beating so rapidly that it hurts, and he clutches at his chest. Everything is happening so fast, his head is pounding, and he just wants to be able to breathe.

“Nathan!” Sam’s voice seems far away, and Nate can barely see him through the thick smoke.

Time stands still. His mind tells him to escape from the impending death surrounding him, and adrenaline is coursing through his veins, but he's shifting through the water and ignoring the echo of his brother's voice in his ears.

The canon explodes in a mess of fire and wood as Nate backs away and covers his head, water filling the room quickly. Both of them have to hurry and get out before they join Rafe and the treasure at the bottom of the floor.

It’s nearly impossible to swim and keep his eye on the ship as it explodes and falls apart not even twenty feet away from them. His legs and arms burn as he tries to outswim the crumbling pieces of the ship before he’s crushed to death.

The cave collapses behind them with a final loud explosion, the water propelling them forward as they swim towards land. They both gasp for air as they crawl up and onto shore, Nate grasping his brother’s shoulder. He’s really here, really breathing beside him, heart beating and everything.

He’s suddenly extremely exhausted, possibly from blood loss, as he stares down at the blood starting to pool at his abdomen from having dragged himself onto land and furthering irritating the wound. The pain starts to increase as his adrenaline wears off, and he lets his eyes slide closed.

* * *

The sky is gray and dull in the early morning as a light breeze blows throughout the city of New Orleans a week later. Nate shivers, goosebumps spreading across his skin despite it being the month of June, and he hisses in pain as he struggles to heave himself onto the bench outside of his office. He looks out over the water as it ripples from the breeze, and he closes his eyes.

“You’re out here early.” Sam’s voice suddenly echoes in his ears, and he grits his teeth as he turns too quickly, irritating the stitches that adorn his abdomen. Sam, wearing that same denim jacket, sits beside him and pulls out a cigarette. He’s still wearing the bandage over his nose, and the tiny scratches still cover his face as he takes a deep inhale.

“Yeah. Figured I’d give it once last look, y’know?” Nate says, sighing as he imagines the boxes that litter his home. He had decided in the hospital the week before that the house he had shared with Elena was just too much, and he didn’t need another reason to think of her in every room he went.

“Why California? It’s…so far away,” Sam asks as he snuffs the cigarette on the ground. “Across the country.”

Nate nods, crossing his ankles. “That’s the point. I want to get as far as I possibly can.”

He also knew that with Sam back, he couldn’t keep the feelings that he had tucked away, and with Sam sitting next to him it was only a matter of time.

“Oh.” Sam looks distracted and somewhat guilty when Nate looks over at him, and he can feel the stinging in his eyes, the usual sign that he’s about to cry. He clears his throat.

“I still have a few boxes left to pack and clear out, so…” He stands slowly as not to tear the stitches, but stops when he feels Sam grab his sweater. He looks back at him, and is surprised to see the hurt expression on his face. Sam lets him go, but Nate turns completely around. “Sam?”

“I never got the chance to apologize,” he begins, and he taps his fingers against his thighs, a habit Nate knows means he’s trying not to reach for another cigarette. “For lying to you. For ruining your marriage, amongst other things.” He’s looking everywhere but at him.

Nate’s a little taken aback, and he grasps the railing as he can’t stand for long, thanks to the healing wound. “You’re apologizing?”

Sam finally meets his eyes, confused. “…Should I not be?”

“Shouldn’t I be the one apologizing to you?”

“To _me?_ ” Sam’s voice goes up an octave as an incredulous look appears across his features, and if not for the tense atmosphere Nate would’ve snorted back a laugh. “What for?”

“I left you there. Alone, in that prison, for years, Sam,” he says, his chest tightening with each passing breath. “And I can’t even imagine how betrayed and hurt you must have felt when you realized that I hadn’t come back for you, and I’m so _sorry-”_

“Nathan, Nathan stop,” Sam pleads as he stands and grasps him by the shoulders, wiping his thumbs across the apples of his wet cheeks, and it’s then that he realizes that he’s standing there blubbering like a child, but he can’t stop.

“Then you find out that I tried to replace you with someone else, but Sam I swear she was just a cover up, I needed her there to distract me from the pain of losing you, I was so selfish but-” He tries to continue, but he’s crying so hard that he can’t even understand himself. He feels Sam pull him forward, and suddenly he’s clutching at his brother so tight that he nearly rips the fabric of his jacket. Sam, wary of his stitches, holds him against his chest just as tight as Nate bawls into his shoulder.

A drop of rain falls from the sky to land on the tip of Nate’s nose, and he pulls away from Sam as he takes deep breaths, wiping away the tear streaks from his face. “I don’t blame you,” He says, his voice clearer. “for lying to me. You must hate me.”

Sam’s face twists into an expression of complete disbelief and disgust as he backs away from him and stares. “Are you out of your mind?” He seethes as a few more drops fall and land on his face. He throws his hands up as his eyebrows furrow, and this time he walks right up to Nate’s face, digging his fingers into his arms. “I don’t hate you, Nathan. I never could.”

The drops of rain start to fall more quickly, and soon enough both of them are sopping wet as they stand there staring at each other.

“Why?” Nathan yells over the rain as it falls harder against the floorboards of the pier. “How could you not?”

“Because it’s me! I'm the selfish one!” Sam shouts right back at him, his hair dripping down the front of his jacket. “You’re the one who told me that it was too dangerous, that something could happen, and something did! This is all my fault,” Sam breathes heavily. “If it wasn’t for me arguing with you over some stupid legend that we didn’t even know was out there, none of this would've happened! We wouldn't have been apart for so long!”

“But I was so selfish, I didn’t ever come and get you out, and when I tried to replace-”

“What the hell else were you supposed to do?” Sam interrupts, voice cracking as the wind blows his hair across his forehead. “You thought I was dead. I knew that, and even though it hurt, I wanted what was best for you, even if it didn’t include me. Don’t you believe for one second that this is your fault!”

Nate’s breathing becomes erratic as he stands there, listening to his brother shouting at him in the rain. He can feel his heart pounding in his ears.

“You were supposed to move on without me!” Sam yells as he finally releases his death grip on Nate's arms, running a hand through his wet hair as he takes a few steps back and turns his back to him. Nate's stomach clenches, and it’s his turn to stare at him incredulously as he lets go of the railing to fully face him.

“How could I?!” He screams at Sam's retreating form, and his heart is beating so fast and he can feel the emotion bubbling in the pit of his stomach. “I could never move on from you!”

“Why not?!” Sam looks angry, turning around quickly as the rain pelts against them, and the emotions rise quickly up Nate’s throat as he clenches his fists.

He’s so tired of this, this conversation they’re having, of Sam acting like he knows everything, because he doesn’t. He doesn’t know the years of torment and pain that he went through at the mere thought of him. He doesn’t know that all Nate’s ever wanted was for the chance to be with him – even if it was just for a day- he would take it. He would take it in a heartbeat, just to be by his side. He no longer cares about hiding anymore, and he doesn’t care that what he’s about to say is going to be incredibly selfish. What more damage can be done?

“Because I’m in love with you!” Nate sobs out, and a loud clap of thunder lights up the sky. “It’s you! It’s fucking you, Sam. I can’t withstand it, I can’t hold it in anymore, it’s you! You are the only one I will ever want! I belong with you. You are my home, and not just because you’re my brother, but because I can’t go through the rest of my life without you.”

He’s breathing heavily, his chest vibrating, and he can see Sam’s feet planted on the ground, but he can’t bring himself to look up at his face. “I know you must think I’m disgusting, having been in love with my own brother for all this time, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not telling you sooner, but I don’t care anymore. I just can’t…”

He trails off as he watches Sam’s feet come toward him at an alarmingly fast pace, and before he can lift his eyes up enough to see the expression on Sam's face, Sam’s hands grab his chin roughly, yanking his face up and crashing their lips together.

Nate inhales a gasp of surprise as Sam’s lips meet his own, his eyes closing. The kiss is wet and messy and Nate is shivering, but Sam’s lips are warm as they meet Nate’s again and again. His hands tremble as they hesitantly hover in the air above his brother's hips, and Sam slides his hands from his jaw to the back of his neck, pulling him closer, rubbing his thumbs back and forth across the stubble that adorns Nate's cheeks beneath his jaw line, and kissing him deeper, and Nate can feel it bubbling up his chest and into his lips as he kisses back with equal fervor.

They’re both breathing hard as they pull away. Sam rests his forehead on Nate’s, one hand behind his neck and the other grasping his shoulder. “Me too,” Sam chokes out, grinning as Nate stares up at him dizzily. “In case you didn’t get that part.”

Nate doesn't speak for a few seconds, in complete disbelief as he blinks quickly to dislodge the raindrops from his eyes.

"I-I...y-you-?" He stutters out through the clicking of his teeth.

"I'm in love with you too, little brother," Sam says quietly, lips grazing softly against the bridge of his nose.

Nate's heart picks up speed, pounding in his head as he pauses. He chokes back a sound that probably would have turned into a sob had he let it out as Sam pulls him back into his arms, and he can feel Sam's heart pounding just as fast. "I love you, Nathan. I will until my lungs give out. I promise till death we part, like in our vows.”

“Our vows?” Nate’s momentarily confused before the memory flashes across his mind, and he chuckles as it passes with love and hope, instead of the usual feelings it usually brings. “Yeah. Now it’s just you and me until we’re gray and old.”

As he's grinning like an idiot, he looks up at his brother, and Sam's expression shifts dramatically. A little worried, Nate pulls back slowly, but before he can ask what's wrong, Sam says something that he can't quite hear over the loud rain.

"What?"

"It's the fourth time," Sam yells, bumping his nose against his. "That I've fallen in love with you all over again from just the look on your face."

Nate swallows, his throat suddenly dry as he tries to come up with something, anything that shows that he can still function after what Sam said, but Sam continues.

“Just promise me one thing,” Sam whispers into his ear as he pulls Nate back to him. “Just say you won’t let go, Nathan.”

Nate blinks, but nods seriously as he interlaces his fingers behind his brother's back.

“I won’t. I won’t let go.”

The rain continues to fall and surround the two brothers, an unusually cold day in the month of June. There’s no more pain, no more sorrow as the two of them continue to embrace each other. No more hidden feelings, and no more wishing they had some of their best days with each other back, because now, they’ll get to make new ones.

Behind them, a double rainbow forms.

 

END.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the positive comments and all the support for this story. It really makes me tear up when I think about how much everyone really liked this, and I wanted the last chapter to be the best one for Sam and Nate!
> 
> Thank you again, you all are so encouraging and you make me cry *sobs*
> 
> Also, fun fact: For a split second, I considered having both of them die on Avery's ship together, but the more I thought about it the more I didn't like it. I hate endings like that, and I like happy ones :3


End file.
